Do you often find yourself watching or reading the news or doing something in life where you use the term “What the f*ck?”. Like what the actual f*ck. There are so many times each day, each week, each month…..where I just don’t get it.
Here’s my current list (in no particular order):
Why do stupid people become so successful? Case in point: Donald Trump.
On the flip side, why do smart people do stupid things?
Why is the economy more important than the environment? Nearly 3 billion animals were lost in Australia’s recent bushfires, so let’s destroy some of their remaining habitat where there are some known colonies of Koala’s and build some overpriced McMansions. You can help here.
Why were there millions of jobs throughout the world that required us all to go into an office every day, sit in traffic for hours, that are now magically able to be done remotely with the same output ….
If someone can tell me how to plot/interpret this diagram I would be much appreciative;
Adiabatic lapse rates, aerological diagrams and just generally using this graph paper are not my friend.
Why we work a ratio of 5 days work to 2 days on – it seems really crazy to me. Why does working rule our lives so much.
Why school hours don’t match up to working hours.
Why I can’t wear smart casual attire to work in the office. I’m not talking trackie daks and thongs, I’m talking black jeans, trainers and a cool shirt. I don’t produce work to a higher standard or work harder or more productively because I am wearing a business suit and heels.
Why people believe “Influencers” over actual scientific fact. All those people who promote health, wellbeing and natural lifestyle all while having fillers and implants. Photoshopped instaposts #blessed with captions like: “Today is the day to start your dreams” or “Wherever you find yourself there you are…use “influencer 10” for a 10% discount off incontinence pads”. Note: If anyone online says “You’ve all been asking what I’m wearing…..” you can ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE that NOBODY has asked them.
My attempt at influencing has earned me ZERO dollars and ZERO respect
Why is bottled water so popular? It’s free from the tap and perfectly safe in Australia.
How people can abuse animals, or children? Some adults… I get.
Why mental health inpatients are given the same treatment as recovering drug addicts? I’m anxious and depressed, not coming off meth or opioids.
Why people stand up as soon as the plane lands (mostly middle-aged man-babies, I wrote about it here). In the same way, why people jump up to go to the toilet as soon as the ‘fasten seatbelt’ sign is off.
Why can’t I sleep at night?
How the trees magically know it’s spring time.
Why – when it’s summer I can’t wait for winter and in winter I can’t wait for summer.
That’s a good little list for starters. Got anything you want to add to my list?
Online dating is the world in which: BDE, Sapiosexual, MBA, ENM, NK, ISO, NSA, DTF, FWB, no breadcrumbing! Translates to: BDE (Big Dick Energy), Sapiosexual (someone who’s attracted to brains over boobs), MBA (Married But Available), ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamist), NK (No Kids), ISO (In Search Of), NSA (No Strings Attached), DTF (Down To F*ck), FWB (Friends With Benefits), No Breadcrumbing (Don’t feed me with flirtation and don’t follow through).
It’s slim pickings out there ladies……
50% want something casual. “I just want something casual babe”. Friends with benefits. No ‘drama’, I don’t want to have to deal with a womans ‘shit’ – I’ve already had a nagging wife.
20% are still married. Although one guy said he was ‘separated’ but ‘coparenting and living in the same house’.
10% are in ‘open’ or ‘polyamorous’ relationships.
10% say the most important person in their life is their mother.
Am I at 100% yet?
I’ve always wanted a ‘real man’ who irons his shits and knows how to threat a woman.
Others I’ve rejected include those that describe themselves as ‘sensual’, are covered in bad tribal tattoos, look like they would beat up their wives, post pictures of their exes (so we know what they’re into), wear Carrera sunglasses, who get to/two/too, rode/road, your/you’re and those who physically repulses me.
Obviously I am too picky.
Mostly they’re into posting gym selfies, pictures of themselves fishing and on all kinds of motorbikes. Staffies are the dog of choice.They lie about their age, want great ‘banter’ and women who keep themselves ‘fit’. Basically they want a ‘mate’ they can ‘fuck’ who expects nothing in return and is okay with being discarded when they lose interest. The questions I get asked most are: What size are your boobs and do you have pubes?
I met one guy who enjoyed shooting wild pigs with a machine gun (he sent me a video). Another who was living in his car and drove to McDonalds to get free WIFI. One who was only online to enhance his photo collection of ‘bewbs’. I’ve been offered multiple one night stands and a few threesomes.
The threesomes were fun. Joking!!!! Haha Mum, joking!!!!
These ones weren’t even the weirdest.
I am on a swipe left/swipe right type website, where we are judged solely on our looks (we only get 150 characters of type to make an ‘impression”). It’s not Tinder but it’s not far from it.
On the flip side I’ve learned that I am hardly a catch, I have been rejected for a myriad of reasons; I didn’t get excited about his bagpipe band, I came off second or third or 51st best when he was having many many simultaneous conversations and he was interested in ‘some of the others’ more, I told him that scanning everything as carrots at the self serve checkout was actually theft, I have pubic hair.
I now know why married people can be smug married people – they don’t have to deal with this cesspool of online dating any longer.
Better go, I have to get back to my inbox full of unsolicited dick pics.
P.S They all think their ‘member’ is the best, biggest, brightest. So far I am underwhelmed.
I love a man who can mansplain how online dating works.
My last exam for this semester is happening tomorrow night. I am meant to be studying. I used to actually enjoy the process of studying and cramming it all in. Blocking everything out from the outside world and concentrating on my thing. Not on me. Not in my head.
This time it’s a little different. Now there’s work, paying bills, internet, online study group chats, Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, cooking dinner, even the delivery guy is against me. You name it, it is capable of distraction. Blogging. It’ no longer me vs the exam. It’s my ability to concentrate vs the outside world.
This semester has been a long and tough one. Not going to lie. Everything online means it’s difficult to ask a question. Library closed mean that the books allocated to the subject are not available. Mid semester break was moved early to allow the lecturers time to move all the content to online. Meaning that since that break every assignment, every mid semester exam, practical task, quiz and tutorial has all happened back to back. Something like 10 weeks in a row.
I log off my work computer at around 5 and turn on my home computer until 11 ish each night. I am exhausted. I love it. I chose it. I get it. But I am tired and oh so very very ready for the mid year break, where I can dive freshly into 2 new subjects.
All I want for my break is to read, walk, write and sleep. In whatever order that comes.
My head hasn’t been helping me. Over the long weekend I sunk to a bit of a low. If by low you mean crying 7-8 times a day. Wake up – cry. Tea bag falls in the cup – cry. Milk out of date – cry. See a baby seal in Antarctica on Facebook – cry. Have a shower – cry. Realise there is a stain on my clothes – cry. You get the picture.
On a scale of 10 being happy to 1 depressed. I was low. I started brushing my teeth, went to clean the toothbrush and realised there was a black thing in it. That black thing was a baby cockroach. Cry.
I am still using the toothbrush.
It’s been hard to study, but I am proud of myself for sticking with it and carrying on.
Please don’t worry I am feeling a whole lot better. I am still meant to be studying.
Oh how I’ve miss this. My writing, my little corner of cyberspace that helps me to quieten the noise.
I have been writing, though mostly emails and assignments. I forgot how much time it takes to be a student. But I am loving the learning, the lectures, tutorials, practicals even the assignments, but after many many hours at the screen, I don’t have the energy to bash out a blog post.
I don’t want to just ‘bash’ out some content to keep the blog ticking over, this space will never be filled with what is not authentic. It will always be my voice, my content, what is circling my head. I have tried over the years to add in bits and pieces that I thought I should write, as a good blogger, a range of pieces to spark the interest of different audiences. But really I write this for me and if you enjoy it too, then that just makes me love you even more. Apart from the odd “I could live here” which will nearly always be a cabin or modern home in the middle of a forest because that is exactly where I want to live.
I actually have written a fair bit lately, just in my head when I have been out hiking. Now that the restrictions are starting to ease, the first thing (when my exams are over) I want to do is go out on an overnight hike. Just pack up my backpack and go. Doesn’t even have to be that far. Maybe the Blue Mountains. Like I haven’t spent enough time alone. I will just stay alone, not in my house, somewhere else.
I like being alone. It has never ever bothered me. Especially when I felt out of control or anxious or sad, I like connection but I don’t want to know how out of control I am. Confused? Try being inside my head.
I only like my people. As they say on Runway “You are either in or you are out” most people I meet can probably just assume they are on the out. You’ll know if you are in. If you are reading this then you are absolutely ‘in’.
On September 12 last year, I took a mental health day work (and you know I was honest with work about it all and they were great about it) and I went for a long hike alone, with nothing but me, myself and my hateful thoughts about myself, in the rain, after 15km and 10 minutes beating a very expensive hiking pole against a rock while yelling at myself “why do I fucking suck at life so badly” until the rock won, I felt better. A lot better. Back to normal better.
I don’t want to go back to ‘normal’, if that means shopping and spending and 50 hour weeks, and sitting in traffic and flying to another city for a ‘meeting’, queues and lines, checking out, checking in, the rat race, glorifying busy…..
Personally I have LOVED the slower pace, the genuine connection, the efficiency, the focus and the benefits to my own mental health. Can we keep it like this?
If you’re not offended by a ‘fags’ mug then you are one of my people.
I need to keep giving myself pep talks to get stuff done. Like “don’t be a pussy and get in there and get that uni work done” that kind of thing.
So, I thought I would give everyone a round up of ways to keep productive from what I can see everyone else doing on instagram:
Creating and cultivating a sourdough starter
Baking perfect loaves of bread
Beard trimming
Learning a new musical instrument – how fun for your neighbours!
Learn sign language
Learning a new language
Cleaning and decluttering
Painting and general home maintenance
Home school organisation to rival the coordination of a military during wartime
Turning said children into child prodigies. E.g. Doogie Howser MD.
Now so that the REAL people don’t feel bad. It’s all about average at my place, welcome in all underachievers. This is an example of my last few days:
Pouring coffee into cocoa pops as a lunch alternative
Eating an entire wheel of brie without crackers cos I ran out
Getting dressed after 2 pm
Bribing myself with easter eggs to get uni work done
Working out which milk gives the froth in a Nespresso
Getting rid of an ingrown pube
Having a shower
Waking up
Making cat noises at the dog next door
Making as many weird and ugly faces during the family zoom meeting as possible
Work
You’re welcome!
This is a VERY accurate description of my life right now. Trackie dacks TICK, Bottles and Cans TICK, papers everywhere TICK, eating cereal from a mixing bowl….TICK.
This is a story about the dark overlords of the world wide web.
There was once a little company called Telecom which provided Australia with all its phone call and communicational needs. It was owned by the government and provided its services really quite cheaply, then it was sold off allegedly to the ‘Australian people’, but really to other really rich media magnates who then hiked up prices and provided a really shitty service to its customers. 10 years ago the leaders monkeys of our country decided that we don’t need high speed anything and started building the NBN (National Broadband Network) with lego blocks. It is still being built, as apparently the future of data is via the ground and through cables, this has to be manually installed into each home and paid for by each homeowner even though it doesn’t work very well and the infrastructure is now 10 years old.
Like everyone else on the planet right now, life currently revolves around the internet. I am chewing through data at a rate of around 1000GB per day. Work, uni, TV all rely on data.
Right now, my internet is currently switched off, due to the fact that the NBN is rolling through town and the suburb is in internet limbo. ADSL (which was shit anyway) switched off, NBN not connected yet. This leaves me with one current option. 4G. Hotspotting off my two mobile phones each day. Balancing the allocated data by the hour. TV is only free to air or good old fashioned DVD’s (which I recently gave at least half to the Salvation Army).
All uni work is online now, meaning that I am chewing through my pitiful 4G allowance faster than I should. Telstra are going to charge me $10 per GB once I run out. Way to help Telstra.
I’m annoyed that the NBN install has disrupted my internet on and off for 6 weeks now.
I’m annoyed that even when my ADSL was working it’s was so overloaded that it takes 23 minutes to load just one 25 minute episode on Apple TV.
I’m annoyed that even though I ordered a 4G hotspot via Vodafone with 100GB per month that I have no idea when it will arrive because the tracking of orders on the Vodafone website isn’t working and it keeps asking me to ring customer service.
I’m annoyed that I ring customer service there is nobody to answer my calls. I am currently at 138 minutes on hold and counting. Please use the website to track your order.
I am annoyed at myself that I only just read their website COVID-19 section which says that the government in India has closed their call centre.
I am annoyed that uni is now all online. I don’t know how to catch up on the practicals that I have now missed because I am an external student. The lecturer is not responding to emails and the online chat has no responses either.
I am still sleeping a lot. Please see my previous post below.
We are not even in lockdown yet. Send help and wifi.
