Last Thursday was the International Day of Happiness. I spent a lot of time this last week thinking about what happiness means and how to be ‘happy’. This post has gone around and around in my head for a while so I thought that I would just get it out and put it on paper.
I know what you are thinking – there is no way I would ever be the ambassador for happiness. I am one of the angriest, grumpy, crankiest people I know. Seeing as there is movie called Grumpy Old Men, then I would be the star of Grumpy Mid 30’s Women! But that doesn’t mean I am not happy, nor does it mean that I don’t know and understand happiness when I see it.
I am not at all a psychologist. But I believe that the trick to being ‘happy’ lies in 3 key areas. Over this post and the next I am going to give you all my thoughts on what happiness means. I have not consulted any books or literature, this is just coming from me. However I am sure I am not the first, nor the last to have these exact same theories.
These 3 key areas are (in no particular order):
1. Learning how to be sad and having realistic expectations on being happy
2. Resilience and exploration
3. Relying on Self -Worth
The first is Learning how to be sad. Last time I checked we were all human beings. Human beings are not programmed to be in a state of euphoric happiness 24 hours a day. To expect to be in this state would mean you are either too highly medicated or filthy filthy rich. As most of us are neither we are destined to enjoy the wide range of emotions varying from high to low.
Accepting that we must feel low sometimes and happy at others is the first step in ‘learning how to be sad’. How can you know if you are truly happy if you have never experienced true feelings of sadness. And by sadness I don’t at all mean depression. Depression is something cold and deep that needs support and sometimes professional help. I am talking about sadness. You know the one or two down days you have every now and then. The let down at the end of a holiday. The ‘boredom’ after your exams, you’re ‘I’m just exhausted and want to spend all day in my pyjamas’ day, the odd ‘mental health day’.
The key to learning how to be sad lies in acceptance. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling sad or down, accept it. Accept that that is your day today and that tomorrow is a new day and roll with it. Let the tears flow if they have to. Don’ be worried about what people think. Have your down day and then move on. Try not to dwell on it and certainly don’t beat yourself up for it. Accept it, embrace it, but don’t let it become you. That’s how to be sad.
Please remember that if these ‘down’ or depressed feelings go on for more than a week or two, or if you are feeling worse than ‘down’ and may hurt yourself or someone else, please see a professional – they are awesome.
Or try buying yourself some great flowers – that always works for me. I like to pretend they’re from some hottie that just can’t live without me. Or alternatively they are from your worst enemy who has realised they they are a total tool and just can’t apologise enough for their own disgustingness. Either/Or.
