Sorry everyone – I’ve lost my writing mojo lately. Turns out working full time, doing a couple of uni subjects also having a bout of terrible anxiety makes me a very tired and worn out gal.
Not sure why the anxiety has been bad, maybe a mix of a few things, spending 99.9% of my time at home alone, combined with a dose of general doom and gloom, extinctions, elections, covid, general humanity loss got a little overwhelming for me and I thought I was dying again. I am actually super proud of myself that I have bounced out of it so quickly. Heavily medicated but feeling 99% back to my normal self. That counts doesn’t it?
The trouble with vomiting, can’t sit still, pacing around the house, can’t leave the toilet anxiety is that it makes getting anything done….well difficult. A 4-page uni assignment took 5 days. 5 days! That’s about 4 days too long. I wasn’t even overly happy with it. Should pass but hardly going to win any Nobel prizes for it.
Do you know what else I did for the first time in a long time…….? I went on a date. With an actual living breathing other human being. I know it’s hard to believe. That anyone would want to spend time with me is absolutely astonishing, and overwhelming. I told everyone at work and keyed them up with a “quick one of your products is being recalled” message to get me out of it half-way through, but I actually got through to the end. He wasn’t for me, and I wasn’t for him but ….. A date!
I have gone on some nice hikes lately to clear my head and get out of the house. This picture was taken at Blackheath…..no filter…..seriously! Look at that late afternoon light! Yes, I am old now and say things like Look at the light! Also, this was taken about 2.5 seconds before I told an approx 8-year-old to mind his own business.
I purchased a new diary, all shiny and new for a new year – one befitting of how I have been feeling lately – mental health wise. I think it suits me.
